All By Myself

I gave myself mucho kudos for holding it all in as Charity headed off into the big, bad world and started Kindergarten. Thought I was so strong, so together. I can do this Mom thing!! Until today . . . it all came crashing down, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to go talk with Dave about this one, I just needed some moral support before I curled up in the corner and cried! My little girl is growing up, getting so big, so independent, so un-reliant on mommy everyday. Sometimes I push her in that direction and then other times, I think, what am I doing? Reminds me of my favorite book, "Let Me Hold You Longer", that say to cherish their lasts. Unfortunately, it's harder than it sounds, because we never know when those lasts will be, thus the reason we need to cherish every moment.

Well, I have to say Sunday we had a last and I didn't even realize it. I regret the thought, "Do I ever get any me time?" and "I wish I had more room." and "Please stay off my feet." and "Can't I even take a shower . . ." Because today Charity decided she wanted to take her shower all by herself! Is this allowed at 5? Of course, I stayed right in the bathroom with her making sure she was okay. But when she got out, she was beaming more than just from being clean. She couldn't wait to tell her Daddy how grown-up she was! As I, her mother, crumbled at another last gone past.