Breakfast with Jesus

Dave’s taking most of this week off and though we don’t have funeral arrangements to prepare, as Gramma didn’t wish for that, he’s got lots of “stuff” to do. We’re trying to keep Charity’s routine the same, so he brought her down to “Gramma’s” for breakfast and they ate her food. When she came up at her normal 7:30am to finish getting ready for school, I asked Charity if she missed Gramma. She responded, “No.” As I was sobbing inconsolably. Kids. They’re so resilient. I think they just don’t understand the gap caused by a loss. But as an adult we can see what Charity will miss over the year. Nevertheless, we believe that Charity’s peace is probably just another result of Gramma’s prayers. I’m sure she thought of this. And prayed protection for Charity’s heart and mind.

Flashback to 9.27.2010: Dave and I both decided to pick up Charity yesterday from school, since I didn’t feel I could do it myself. We brought Gramma’s car, since I had told her Gramma was picking her up, I wanted her to at least see the right car, which Dave and I had retrieved from the Oncology Center where Gramma had parked it that morning. I made him drive it home. We talked on our cell phones the whole way home. The alone silence is so hard. And when it was time to pick up Charity from school, just seeing a piece of Gramma hair started a stream of emotions. :'(

Such a beautiful day, Monday was. The beautiful blue skies, finally cooler weather. Gramma definitely would have been sitting outside enjoying it. Reading her bible, doing her devotions on the back patio in her green chair with the sun shining on her. She loved this weather.

Our plan was to sit down with Charity in the living room and explaining what had happened. But Charity wanted to go outside. So we moved our discussion to the back porch. As a kid, you just know something’s up. So as Dave fumbled around to find the right words, Charity burst into tears. “You mean Gramma died?” Her little heart. It broke mine, again. She cried for a few minutes. We all decided to go to Gramma’s place and look at the “Grandma Remembers” book she has been working on for Charity. We had given her this book when we told her we were pregnant. We actually wrapped it in a baby blanket and gave it to her for Christmas that year as the way of telling her. That’s a day none of us will ever forget! That book is so full of everything. Charity is going to love and cherish it. Gramma kept a journal of important dates in it. We flipped through it, but barely scratched the surface of all the love flowing through it. Yet another of Gramma’s selfless acts. And a reminder to me to keep up the blog. Gramma loved it and I know it will bless Charity someday. Gramma knew where the priorities were. These are things that live on, not the clean house or the neatly folded laundry. But the things you do for your family. I need to and will try harder.

Gramma, I hope you’re enjoying your first breakfast with Jesus. I hope Heaven’s got those good kind of donuts we like. The kind Dunkin Donuts has. Eat as many as you want! And the yummy muffins. The ones we used to get at Hannaford with the cinnamon chips or the butterscotch chips. Those ones that had at least a stick of butter in each muffin! And fresh fruit. I’m sure it’s the best fruit ever! Miss you so much. And though Charity says she didn’t, you and I both know she does. Can’t wait to join you for breakfast someday. For now, I’m off to work. It will be hard, but I know you would want us to continue on our normal routine. And just sitting around here makes me miss you so much. Chris flies to England for the Ryder Cup today, so I need to know what I’m supposed to do while he’s gone. I know if you were here, I’d go downstairs and find you watching it. You liked watching golf. Probably reminded you of Dave O. I LOVE YOU, GRAMMA. Enjoy your first full day in Heaven!